


My lips may find another way [to express the words I cannot say]

by selflessbellamy



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: And because I'm trash, F/M, POV Bellamy Blake, Post-Season/Series 02, Reunion, With A Twist, because i had to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-20 18:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3661008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/selflessbellamy/pseuds/selflessbellamy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He finally understands: She is real this time, and he is not going to wake up...</p>
            </blockquote>





	My lips may find another way [to express the words I cannot say]

When Clarke returns, his focus is everywhere but the gate or the path she took to get to the woods beyond it, with Octavia’s head resting on his shoulder evoking memories at the back of his mind. Honestly, it has been way too long since he had let himself think back; allowed himself to recall the brighter and better days marked by their mutual innocence.

Therefore, despite initially having wanted to be alone with his thoughts for once, he does not tell her - or anyone else, who have accompanied him by the fire - to leave. Instead, he deeply enjoys the rare silence like a single parent, closing his eyes wanting to drift off to sleep for the first time since making that promise: _I will take care of them for you._

But just as he is led to believe that he might actually succeed, Abby’s voice makes it impossible: “Clarke!” His eyes are open wide all of a sudden, reacting so quickly that he questions whether or not he heard the right name on the mother’s lips. For no more than a second, he studies her face with eyebrows slightly raised in confusion until the disbelief playing off in every one of her features and Octavia pulling at his sleeve causes him to finally twist his head in direction of the gate, where he instantly sees _her_ standing by it: Clarke… With her blonde hair and characteristically serious facial expression. Bellamy can’t help but to shake his head in awe at the view before spontaneously rising to his feet, which begin to guide him in towards her. 

However, as he is standing about twenty feet from her, he stops abruptly to look as if to clarify that she is indeed real, yet it isn’t enough. He frowns at the thought of it only being his mind playing games with him.

Out of the corner of his eye, he spots Kane grabbing Abby’s arm, preventing her from going any further: “Let him show you how to handle this. The last thing we want is to make her want to leave again,” Bellamy wants to snort at those words, knowing that the last thing Clarke wishes is for people to ‘handle her’ like a precious vase on the edge of breaking: she did break and that was it; the reason for her going away, and as the lone person Bellamy had never doubted that it in fact meant that she would be here on the day she felt ready to.

 

Which happened to be this day. And somehow, that surprises him.

 

He takes the next step, determined to make it down there, emotion being a heavy burden at his back, yet it looks like he won’t be forced to work with that much longer, because at the second he gazes up from his feet, he catches a short glimpse of her sprinting towards him before she collides into him forcefully enough for him to question his balance for a moment. Still baffled, Bellamy hardly notices her legs wrap around his waist, locking him in place, but when he at last does, the closeness of her dismisses the rest of the fluster, and all that he can do is take her in: how her hair smells like smoke and rain. How she is shaking slightly in his arms…

Eyes squeezed shut, he fears that she might slip away from him any second, so he has to embrace her tighter. Yet as seconds pass on with the steady breaths from her meeting the skin of his ear, he begins to comprehend that this is real.

That she is real this time, and he is not going to wake up.

Because, damn, he is very much awake…

Even as her hands continue to tremble, she is able to take his face in them, their eyes meeting with enough emotion to almost scare him, ‘cause in that moment something breaks. Whether it is the remaining ruins of the wall between them or his heart is what he can’t pinpoint. He swallows hard at the view of tears in her eyes, finding himself unable to take it - instead, he closes his own and touches his forehead to hers in hope that she will find it possible to do the same. He strongly hopes that the warmth will welcome her home, tell her that he isn’t mad, since he knows that that is what she believes.

It doesn’t feel right to speak. Like any word will cause them to shatter, as fragile as they seem.

Their noses graze, which has got to mean that she has moved her face an inch closer, probably subconsciously, so Bellamy still doesn’t say anything - not until the feel of her light breath ghosting over his bottom lip makes something in his mind shutter: “Clarke-“ But her name nearly gets stuck in his throat once he feels his own mouth brush against hers as he says it. At the speed of light, about a million thoughts go through his mind, yet just one remains: _Shit._

Her lips hover above his a little longer, then he feels them pull at his; it’s barely even a kiss, but it somehow still manages to catch him off guard: movements incredibly slow, carefully making sure that he feels everything, which is nothing like other kisses he has experienced. When he finally responds, Bellamy would love to excuse it with that he does not know what he’s doing, but that is as far from the truth is it can be.

The one of his hands that isn’t supporting her snakes up her neck to cup her face gently, causing the angle to change abruptly. _Why would she kiss me?_

Well for the same reason as he is kissing her: because he can’t speak for once in his life, and his lips had to find another way to say what was needed: _It’s okay. You’re forgiven, again._

They stay like that until Bellamy becomes aware of her hand slowly sliding up his back, which sets off the small alarms within his mind - they tell him to pull away - a request that he in the end, reluctantly obeys to.

Putting her down on the ground, he lets a couple of tense moments pass before saying: “You came back, Clarke. I knew you would…”


End file.
